5 Desirable Traits That Need To Be Shown Not Told

Don’t use these words to describe yourself

Organized icebreakers were once my version of hell. I’d sit in a large group waiting for my turn to answer whilst panicking about how to come up with an answer that would make people like me.

One of the worst questions was “describe yourself in three words”. It’s the same if they ask what your friends would describe you as. Everyone knows it’s just a way to make the answer seem less arrogant but really it’s your own thoughts.

A cringefest is unleashed and people’s choices often revealed the opposite about their personality than what they hoped for. The question reveals what you want other people to think of you as not what you actually are.

Your actions prove the most desirable traits over time not by repeatedly telling people how great you are. It’s a mistake I’ve made myself many times. Here are five traits you need to show not tell.

New person: “I’m passionate about traveling.”
Me: “Great, where are some places you’d love to go?”
New person: “Erm I can’t think of any…”

I’ve had a variation of this conversation so many times. Someone claims to be passionate about something but then is unable to hold any conversation about it. Listening to a person talk about what they love should not feel like watching a car crash.

The trait has been hijacked as a buzzword for networking instead of an overwhelming force impossible to miss. The truth is in the eyes as I won’t believe you if yours are vacant. I recently talked to an expert on gut health and their eyes lit up as they dove into all their favorite facts. I didn’t care much for the subject beforehand but I couldn’t help be drawn to their joy.

True passion is difficult to fake and far more electric than a rehearsed line. If your emotion isn’t coming across then ask yourself if you actually are passionate or you simply like the idea of the topic. You might surprise yourself.

Whenever someone calls themselves likable, I like them a little less. I’m guilty of doing variations of this myself but…

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