10 Rules of Engagement for Fighting with Your Wife

Your wife is not a problem to fix; she’s a person to love.

I have been married to my wife Melanie for 19 years. I couldn’t tell you how many fights we’ve had during that time. Hundreds, maybe?

Today I added one more to the list. She said something that I took the wrong way, and my reaction told her something was wrong. I brushed it off because she had to leave for a dentist’s appointment, and I continued to stew about it the whole time.

But in the hour before she came back, I realize I had been a bit childish and probably misunderstood her. We talked through the problem, and I discovered I had indeed taken her comment the wrong way. We quickly worked through it, and all was right with the world again.

Any married man knows that arguments are a part of marriage. Heck, they’re part of almost every relationship.

But not every man follows the rules of engagement in arguments with his wife. Arguments are going to happen, but they don’t have to be fatal to your relationship. In fact, when you work through arguments in the correct way, it can strengthen your relationship with your wife instead of tearing it down.

These are ten rules every man should follow when fighting with his wife. I don’t get them right all the time (and sometimes I mess them up royally), but they have been a big help in keeping our relationship healthy.

During an argument, one or both of you will get emotional. That is usually not the best time to work through all the issues surrounding the argument. It’s better to wait a little while until everyone calms down. But don’t wait too long — work through an argument sooner rather than later, so it doesn’t fester and turn into a major battle.

The longer you’ve been married, you more you know which buttons to push that will tick off your wife. It might be something from her past, an issue where she lacks self-confidence, or a grudge you have against her family. In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to throw…

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